Hold Me
by Shadow of Arashi
Summary: Here, the sequel to Don't Turn Around just for you Wildfyre ! What I wouldn't do for my readers... Oh and Carine, that was a challenge ! You are daring me aren't you ?! But that's all right, now you are making me want to write a happy ToumaxSeiji fic ! *g


Author's notes : This is the sequel to Don't Turn Around, but it can almost stand alone as well I think. Wildfyre, this fic is for you ! ^^ I hope you will like it.

Disclaimer : *sighs* I own nothing of nothing, meaning that the ronin boys or the song Hold Me by Savage Garden are not mine so don't sue me.

Warning : Great sappiness and angst. But it all get better in the end. ^_^ Song from Touma's POV, I guess… Oh dear, the way I wrote it, Seiji looks like he is on Death's door ! O_o;;;;

Hold Me 

By Shadow of Arashi

_Hey_

_If we can't find a way out of these problems_

_Then maybe we don't need this_

_Standing face to face_

_Enemies at war we build defences_

_And secret hiding places_

Touma winced inwardly as his father talked happily about his new projects for his son, as if he wasn't even here. He shut his eyes and rubbed his forehead as he felt a headache growing behind his throbbing skull.

He couldn't believe it. He couldn't believe that after all this time, his father had only called him back to him only to basically control his life ! When he thought about what he had left behind to follow his father, it made him sick…

/If I had know it was going to end like this, I would never have left Seiji…At least he understood me, and he didn't try to always control everything I do./

As he heard his father starting to talk about his soon to be "marriage" with his colleague's daughter, he choked on his drink, spilling the water on the table. 

"Touma ? Are you all right ?"

He wanted to scream no, but it wouldn't have do any good. Now it was too much. He had foolishly believe he had made the right choice, and had made the biggest mistake of his live instead.

_/That's it !/_

He thought. Now he was going to set thing right, no matter the cost. He had lived without his father for years, he could do it again. It just wasn't the life he had been hoping for. Raising on his feet unsteadily, Touma left the table without a word and almost ran to his room. 

There he packed up a few of his belonging and quickly left the house, before his father could started asking him questions. He had to see Seiji, and talk to him too. He couldn't stay another day without his blonde angel by his side.

The front door slammed shut as the blue haired boy ran from his father's house, with only one idea in his mind.

_I might need you to hold me tonight_

_I might need you to say it's alright_

_I might need you to make the first stand_

_Because tonight I'm finding it hard to be your man_

Seiji stifled an angry sob and curled up on his side, holding the sheets tightly against his cold body as a cough shook his body. He felt like he was dyeing inside, slowly but surely. Ever since Touma had left two him weeks ago, he couldn't eat, couldn't sleep anymore. 

He felt so cold inside now that it was frightening. When Shin had tried to determine if he was sick, he had discovered that he was burning up. But Seiji didn't care. He knew he was falling apart but he didn't care, couldn't care anymore. 

He had lost his soul the day Touma had walked out of his life. His love had left him when he needed him the most, to reassure him, to hold him at night and whisper sweet things in his ear to lull him to sleep.

Another coughing fit left him weak and trembling, body drenched in a cold sweat as he panted for breath. He closed his eyes then, and a tear slide down his cheek, before falling on the pillow, unnoticed.

/Damn… damn me, damn love, damn your father and damn you Touma… I could fight the dynasty, but you just had to leave me to bring me on my knees… I can't believe I'm so weak and pathetic now… I don't even recognize myself anymore. I guess that it's on those kind of nights that I realize how hard it is… how hard it was to be a couple. How hard it is to be in love, or to have someone calling you his… Did you ever feel the same Touma ? Is that why you really left ?/

Unconsciously, Seiji made a fist of his right hand and his grip tightened on the sheets to the point he could very well have tear it apart if he hadn't be so weak. His heart was hurting him just with those thought of Touma.

Almost desperate and overcome in grief, Seiji sat up on his bed and took the small bottle of sleeping pills on his nightstand. If he couldn't stand life anymore while he was conscious, maybe a true, dreamless sleep could help…

Seiji was so deeply into his thought that as he took three of the sleeping pills, he didn't notice his door cracking opened behind him. 

_Hey_

_More than angry words I hate this silence_

_It's getting so loud_

_Well I want to scream_

_But bitterness has silenced these emotions_

_It's getting hard to breathe_

Touma jumped out of his car and ran into the house as quickly as his armor would let him run. He had to find Seiji, now ! He could feel that something was wrong with the blonde and the feeling of dread would not leave.

He had hate it when they had broke up, the understanding of Seiji instead of the angry words he was expecting, and he thought deserved, had left him more shaken than he could bear, and the mental silence between them which had follow had been pure torture.

Now the only thing he wanted was to be back with Seiji, and to beg forgiveness for his stupidity. Finally, in less than five minutes he was upstairs, in front of Seiji's room. Suddenly it became hard to breath, and his vision blurred for a second. His emotions were so strong he wanted to scream.

Leaning on the door, Touma tried to breath again, then opened the door. There he saw Seiji, ready to swallow some kind of pills. He didn't need to see more to throw himself into the room with a cry.

"Seiji !"

Startled, the blonde dropped the pills on the floor and looked up, his eyes widening at the sight of his lover.

"Touma… How… ? Am I dreaming ?"

The blonde whispered, seemingly not believing his eyes and Touma could barely contained his pain upon seeing him. He looked truly like hell and he couldn't help but feeling guilty. It was his fault if Seiji looked so frail and… dead now. The light in his once bright eyes was almost gone.

"Seiji… you are not dreaming, I… came back to… I was so stupid… can you ever forgive me ?"

His voice broke and Touma fell on his knees in front of Seiji, his body losing it's will to stand. He put his arms around Seiji and hold him tightly as his tears of grief mixed with Seiji's own.

Touma couldn't believe how sick and thin Seiji has became in two weeks, and he hated himself all the more for this.

_So tell me isn't happiness_

_Worth more than a gold diamond ring?_

_I'm willing to do anything_

_To calm the storm in my heart_

_I've never been the praying kind_

But lately I've been down upon my knees 

_Not looking for a miracle_

_Just a reason to believe_

_I might need you to hold me tonight_

_I might need you to say it's alright_

_I might need you to make the first stand_

_Because tonight I'm finding it hard to be your man_

Finally Touma regained some control on  himself and sat up on the bed next to Seiji, never letting go of the blonde who was curled into his arms and clutching to him like his life was depending of it. 

And it was probably true, as well as for his sanity, and Touma was well aware of it now.

"Seiji, I wanted to say I'm sorry, so sorry… I thought I was doing the right thing when I left, but it had only lead me to pain, deception and heartbreak. If you can ever forgive me I… I want you to know that I love you, I always have and always will. I never stopped thinking about you, I even _prayed_ ! Prayed to be sure to make the right choice, for you to be all right, prayed for _us_ to be all right and to appease the storm in my heart… When my father said he had finally arranged the marriage with that girl, I couldn't stand it anymore, I couldn't ! I though I could but I had to leave and to see you again. I just wanted you to know that."

Touma murmured, as if afraid to break their fragile peace and wiped his face, and his tears with it. Seiji stayed silent in his arms, breathing gently in the blue haired boy's neck. He wasn't trembling anymore

"We both made mistakes in our life, Touma. I'm just glad you came back…  I wasn't expecting the pain I felt when you left…"

Seiji said, smiling weakly before he started coughing again. Touma rubbed his back soothingly, gazing at his love worriedly.

"You are sick love, what did you do to yourself ?"

He said, concern in his voice as the blonde finally stopped coughing and calm down.

"Don't worry about that Touma, I will heal and be fine in no time. Now tell me, I'm not sure I get it, why did you change your mind ?"

"I realized I made a big mistake, and that I was unhappy away from you. And I think that spending my life being happy at your side is definitely worth more than making my father happy or than a marriage. It's my own life, and I have to control it myself.  It work for the both of us. We have obstacles to our love in both our family, and even if we can't marry to seal our love like any normal couple, I think that being together is what matter. Even if being together is not easy, I don't want to give it up, I tried it once and suffer too much from it already."

Seiji watched Touma with watering eyes, smiling brightly. He hugged the blue haired boy and kissed him lightly before curling up into his arms once again.

"Thanks Touma, for loving me, and for coming back."

He whispered finally.

"You forgive me ?"

Small, hopeful childlike voice.

"Of course."

A happy sigh. Outside the stars seemed to shine brighter all of a sudden as the two lovers kissed and fell asleep in each other arms, finally at peace for the first time for the last two weeks. 

_Do you remember not long ago?_

_When we used to live for the nighttime_

_Cherish each moment_

_Now we don't live we exist_

_We just run through our lives_

_So alone_

_That's why you've got to hold me_

The morning find the two lover already up, Touma packing the belonging of Seiji and the few thing that he had took for himself.

"Are you ready Seiji ?"

"Yes, almost. I just have to pack one last thing and to leave a note to the others, or else they will start worrying about us. You know how they are."

"Yes, especially Shin. At least they will be happy with the news. I don't think they were too happy with me when I left, right ?"

"Shin only threatened to rip your inside out and to burn your body, that's all."

Seiji said with a small smile. Since the last night he all ready felt stronger, but his body was still running a fever. Touma had forbidden him to move till the last moment.

At least the bags were ready and Touma carried then to his car before carrying Seiji himself, despite the blonde's protests. Then Touma started the car and they left, ready to face their new life together, and to never being away from each other again.

_Hey_

_If we can't find a way out of these problems_

_Then maybe we don't need this_

_Standing face to face_

_Enemies at war we build defences_

_And secret hiding places_

When the other troopers came back hours later, they find the house empty. They almost started worrying when they didn't find Seiji anywhere until Shin found Seiji's note, and reading it out loud, smiling.

"Well the two love-birds are finally back together. I'm glad for them, especially Seiji, I would hate to have to kill one of my best friends."

"I agree whole heartedly."

Ryo said from behind him, smiling at the water warrior. Shin put the note on the kitchen table and left the room with Ryo, knowing their friends were going to be just fine.

_I might need you to hold me tonight_

_I might need you to say it's alright_

_I might need you to make the first stand_

_Because tonight I'm finding it hard to be your man_

OWARI

Shadow : I'm totally, hopelessly obsessed with Savage Garden now… What should I do doctor ? *doctor appears and looks at audience* And here poor readers, you can admire the ghost of the author Shadow, who lost her soul to the god of writing… The moral, never start to write fanfics if you want to keep living a normal life. *Shadow nods and leaves the scene to haunt the internet* 

(okay don't ask me what I was smoking when I wrote this, I don't remember and I don't smoke anyway ! ^^;;;;)


End file.
